This morning I woke up to children laughing and dads chuckling back, so I knew something must be different outside. I rolled out of bed just before my alarm went off and looked outside to see a blanket of fresh snow while more was still falling.
I felt almost giddy with excitement as I looked out on the beauty and tried to focus on the huge flakes that were still falling from the sky.
… but then I thought of the drive to school. I’ll have to drive up a long hill. There’s inevitably going to be thicker snow at the top. Will the roads be icy? Should I take the normal route or go the safer, but longer way around? We should probably leave sooner than usual. I’d better get the kids up…
… and my excitement quickly turns into the very practical considerations of how this beautiful white stuff will impact our usual plans and potentially get in the way of our normal routine? (not to mention the memories of our recent escapade in deeper than expected snow leaving us stuck for several hours until help came!)
So how does this relate to relationships?
At first, everything feels like sunshine and roses (at least for most!) – you don’t see the things that later annoy you in the relationship, or the parts of him that just don’t make sense to you, or the parts of her that just don’t seem to care much about you. You see the beauty, the fun the freshness of something new!
… but then you see the other parts and you start asking the questions… What would this person be like to live with? How will my routines have to change? Their values don’t really line up with mine – how will this play out when we have children or have serious decisions to make? … and slowly, what seemed perfect and beautiful at first, now seems a little scary, unknown, worrisome.
I believe much of what it comes down to is knowing and trusting yourself, and taking the time to know and trust your partner. When you are able to do this, the challenges and bumps in the road become much more like an adventure, and less like a snowy hill on a peddle bike! When it comes to snow, knowing and trusting your car and the tyres on your car will help you stay on the road and keep moving forward (learned from experience!), or will help you decide that it’s maybe just better to stay home!
Needless to say, the kids got off to school without a problem this morning, throwing a few snowballs along the way! The caution was necessary, but there was no reason to worry!
Anita Jacob 